Loneliness hits you hard, especially when you are away from home during birthdays, festivities, Diwali, and the wedding season.
Although I have lived away from home for four years (in the past), that was still in some part of India, where some form of the festivities would be ongoing.
Being away from India, during this season has been a challenge and emotionally draining.
As a therapist, they expected me to deal with this better; but unfortunately, my existing resources and subject knowledge failed me.
Scrolling through Instagram, I could see my friends dressed-up and attending Diwali parties, while all I could do was quickly brush past these stories. The FOMO is real, and I hope to make more space for it this year.
Here is a small guide of tips to cope with the FOMO better;
1. Decide on how much or how little you wish to be involved in the ongoing celebrations and set the boundaries accordingly.
Try to be involved in all events small or big–This can be through video-calls, ordering gifts, flowers, mithai (sweets). Maybe ordering a personalized gift or penning down a hand-written note or letter to your loved one.
It is possible that photos/video calls might cause you distress and discomfort. It is best recommended to discuss the same with your friends and family, take a digital detox break and assertively maintain your firm ‘no’ of being involved in the ongoing celebrations.
2. Create new traditions with your friends/or try to be part of ongoing celebrations within the community
Your Indian friends may be feeling much like yourself; this is your sign to reconnect with them and have a small get-together.
Most religious places or Indian communities may be hosting some events, it would be a good idea to connect with them and find that sense of belongingness.
You could also connect with your neighbours and share your traditions of making a rangoli or exchanging sweets.
Another idea (although slightly more time-consuming) would be to host your non-Indian friends for a party, with sweets, Indian music/films and some dancing.
3. Living away from home can be isolating, but you can build up to the event. Include some rituals for yourself, such as deep-cleaning of the room and personal space, learning to cook mithai (sweets), decorating the house up with candles or lights, buying new clean clothes, or any other ritual that feels right.
Overall, the suggestion would be to develop a new tradition for yourself, a new normal to not feel so lost and lonely.
Bonus Tip/Reminder to myself: Try to find cheaper flight tickets (on time for next year) and go see your closed ones!
If you are considering mental health support
schedule a discovery call with me, write to me on drishtijaisingh2608@gmail.com
Until the next time :)
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